In the past few days Islamist nutjobs have killed two Canadians. Why they are doing so is pretty clear: they are stupid.
It is stupid to attempt to intimidate Canadians by killing a few of us.
It is stupid to think that attacking innocent soldiers going about their lawful duty will result in anything other than what it always results in: solidarity amongst the vast majority of people who are on the side of law, democracy, diversity and dialog as a means of solving our problems–that is, things that actually work–against those who think mouthing arrogant, stupid, slogans about the infinite power of their god does anything other than show what a bunch of ignorant pricks they are.
“Our religion is true because it is true! We know it is true so it is true! We will be victorious! God is great!” is not a convincing argument. It is not an argument at all. In fact, it translates as, “I am stupid! I am very stupid! You would not believe how stupid I am! Soooo stupid!”
Religion–if taken seriously–is a mildly harmful delusion in the private sphere, which leads to a litany of petty miseries as the payment it demands in return for the comfort it offers its adherents. But the costs of private, personal religion are borne almost exclusively by the poor souls who are engaged in it.
Public, political religion, on the other hand, is a stupid obsession that endangers everyone.
We know this, because we have been here before.
Canada, via Great Britain and France, is a product of religious wars. Islamists don’t seem to be able to grasp–because they are stupid–that we did not get to our current state of secular paradise by being weak, we got here by being smart. It only took us a few hundred years, but we finally noticed that religion and politics, while both somewhat unsavory enterprises on their own, when mixed together generate a toxic miasma that makes chemical weapons, which only destroy human bodies, look fairly benign.
Politicized religion destroys whole societies.
Between 1547 and 1745, politicized religion did its best to destroy England, and was none too kind to France, nor Germany, neither. We fought wars over it. We burned heretics and hung, drew and quartered traitors, where their “treason” was little more than their mode of Christian worship. We rarely engaged in anything so civilized as mere beheading, which was considered a kind death. We killed and we tortured and we killed some more. We engaged in terrorism and spying and proxy wars and civil wars and real wars.
And we came to realize, slowly and by degrees over the centuries: this is stupid.
God doesn’t care how, or if, we worship. God certainly doesn’t care how we run our political systems. God doesn’t care about law, or politics. God doesn’t need us to worry about other people’s behaviour. Only, perhaps, about our own, which at least has the virtue of being something we can actually do something about. You know, without killing anyone.
God is infinite. God is incomprehensible.
Now tell me again how you know exactly what God wants.
And if you answer, “Because it is written in our holy book!” what I and anyone else with two brain cells to rub together will hear is, “I am stupid!”
And if you answer, “I will kill you if you disagree with me!” what I and everyone else with a shred of human decency will hear is, “I am stupid and evil!”
Politicized religion is stupid.
Islamism is politicized religion.
You finish the syllogism, Socrates.
Canada is amongst the most peaceful, prosperous, happy nations on Earth. We treat women as equal to men, and allow and encourage them to partake in every opportunity our society offers to anyone. We fornicate with wild abandon while our gay friends sodomize each other happily within and without the boundaries of legally recognized marriage. We worship our gods in a diversity of ways, and some of us worship none at all and think it’s a bit sad that anyone else does, while non-religious people are looked upon as lost sheep by our religious fellow-citizens. We lionize the freedom that everyone has to join any religion and then leave it, peacefully and unmolested. We treat our Jewish citizens as the nice and law abiding people they generally are.
We violate God’s laws every day of the week and twice on Sundays.
And you know what? We prosper.
God does not strike us down, which an infinite, all-powerful God could surely do.
Anyone claiming otherwise, or claiming that God needs help or that they must do personally what God has chosen not to do is: stupid.
Your infinite, all-powerful God does not need help.
Because you’re stupid.
Anyone who genuinely believes in an infinite, all-powerful God does not believe in political Islam, or political Christianity, or any other variety of politicized religion. Only unbelievers could possibly have such a belief, because only unbelievers could possibly hold that God is so limited as to need human assistance.
It follows from this that Islamists are not only stupid: they aren’t even Islamic. Because Islam is very clear that God is infinite and all-powerful.
And since Islamists are not Muslims, yet once were, they must be apostates.
And it follows from this that it is the religious duty of Islamists to kill themselves, as this is clearly the penalty that Sharia law–which Islamists claim to hew to–dictates for the crime of apostasy.
It is not my way to wish harm on any human being, but in this case I have to say I’d like to make an exception, and encourage all Islamists in Canada and elsewhere to save us the trouble of tracking you down, watching you until you do something overtly evil, and then capturing or killing you. It would be way more efficient for you to do the job yourselves. But you’re probably too stupid to follow the logic above, so I guess there’s no real point in asking.
Finally: I am deeply grateful to moderate Muslims in Canada who have helped the RCMP and others keep track of the nutjobs in our midst. I obviously don’t share your religion–and expect many of you disapprove of my particular brand of qtheism[*]–but I recognize that you derive comfort and cultural cohesion from yours and hope that Canada continues to provide a safe and welcoming environment for all peaceful, law-abiding citizens, regardless of how wacky their personal beliefs may be.
[*] Not a typo, although I just invented the term and will expand on it at a later date.